Sugar Plums, Nightmares, and Hyperbeams

So guess what everybody!! My sister Amy is coming home today!! Yay! My younger sister Maren is getting baptized on Saturday, so Amy is flying home from BYU and we're all super excited! (N.B. Maren's birthday is on Friday and Amy's is on Saturday!! which makes it super awesome because we get to celebrate 2 birthdays! lots of cake!! and ice cream!!)
Also there I just found out that there is another institute class (besides the one I go to already) and it's on Wednesdays (instead of Thursday, which is the day that the one I go to already is on) so I can go to both! And it's going to be awesome because I can get BYU credit for it. I'll probably never have to take a religion course again! but I still will because they're great!

Ok so last night I had some weird dreams that were kind of connected to each other. In my dream my aunt was a pilot (she's not) and she was flying Amy and me somewhere (not really [remember this is a dream]) and something was wrong with the plane because we weren't going fast enough. So anyways I had to go to the back of the plane under the tail and pick out some lint and stuff that was blocking the hole in the back of the plane. Somehow that fixed everything. Except that we landed in New York and I was alone (I don't know where my aunt and Amy went). I was walking and being friendly to people when this guy decided to pick on me. He was probably going to kill me, except that this girl I work with (she's from NYC) came and rescued me by pretending to be mad at me and pretending to beat me up. I did a very bad job at pretending to be hit to the ground, but everyone believed it, so I guess it all works out in the end. k so then I woke up.

I know it was an awesome story. I also had a dream that Alex Balagna (the coolest roommate ever) got transferred to the Cleveland Ohio mission for some reason and he was in my ward and it was awesome.

Ok well I miss everyone. You're all great.

My Job

Ok so here are some pictures from work. I work at a biomedical engineering lab at Case Western Reserve University and I get to cut up swine hearts and stain tissue and work on a computer and stuff. If you have any questions, feel free. The last picture is outside the Cleveland Museum of Art and I walked past on my way to Institute so I took some pictures. Hugs and Kisses.

Missionary Tables!!

So today I did this really awesome thing called "Missionary Tables" or something like that. We had a table in a building here on Case campus and the missionaries were there with all their pamphlets and materials and things and we gave away candy to try to lure people into learning about the church. I ended up seeing 2 people I knew from high school and they ended up having tons of questions and took some pamphlets! It was great! I also talked to a girl that is in Dr. Rollins's lab (the one I work in) and she was really interested in learning about the church too. It was a great day for Missionary Tabling! It seriously made my day. pants.

Let's Get Down to Business

ok ok, I know all you avid readers have been waiting desperately for a new post on The Mustachio, and have probably been checking every 10 minutos for a morsel of goodness on this blog. I'm sorry it has been so long since the last post, but here goes another. I now know that at least one person has read (or at least pretended to read) my blog. haha. What a great day!

An update of my life:
-I am still working as a lab assistant in the Case Western Reserve University school of Engineering, department of Biomedical Engineering. Pretty sweet stuff going on here, with all the Optical Coherance Tomography, Radiofrequency Ablations, and manual segmentation of the embryonic avian heart OCT.
-I love the Cleveland University Singles Branch. It sure is great! We do all sorts of awesome things. This past weekend we had a quad-stake not-quite Olympics. My team got gold! Go Andorra! This Saturday we're going apple picking at Patterson Fruit farm (a great place, but not as good as the John Johnson farm in Hiram :-( i sure do miss picking apples for the Bishop's storehouse...)
-I am still 19
-I'm super pumped to go on a mission, but won't leave until after Christmas sometime. lame.
-I got a game boy, and I feel like a kid.
-I now have a greater liking for Cleveland, especially the University Circle area. I used to think Cleveland was gross and disgusting and really boring, but it's actually pretty nice, depending on where you go.
-I'm glad that I get to see one more Ohio autumn! Utah just doesn't cut it. And I like picking apples, especially if I get a special apple bag. I feel like Johnny Appleseed.
-I miss basically everyone.
-I still havent' seen the new Batman movie, but I hear it's epic.

Welp, I guess that's my life in a snack wrap.

Oh yeah I have a Skype so if any of my readers has one, we can talk and that would be awesome.

I'll put some sweet pics up of my lab and maybe some hearts too. <3 .

Safety Is My Goal

So I was driving to work today and I noticed a sign on the back of a truck that said in big, bold capital letters "SAFETY IS MY GOAL".

Now you may be thinking to yourself. "self, don't we see that very same sign on almost all trucks?", and you would be correct, many trucks indeed have that sign.

So what's different about this one? Well, nothing really, just that I actually took some time to think about what the sign was actually saying. The definition of goal quickly came to my mind:

goal /goʊl/ –noun
1. the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.
2. the terminal point in a race.
3. a pole, line, or other marker by which such a point is indicated.
4. an area, basket, cage, or other object or structure toward or into which players of various games attempt to throw, carry, kick, hit, or drive a ball, puck, etc., to score a point or points.
5. the act of throwing, carrying, kicking, driving, etc., a ball or puck into such an area or object.
6. the score made by this act.
[Origin: 1275–1325; ME gol boundary, limit; cf. OE gǣlan to hinder, impede]

It occured to me that using the word "goal" is pretty ambiguous. Does the driver mean that safety is an achievement towards which his or her efforts are directed? In this case, safety is something that is yet to come, not yet reached, but at least he/she is trying. I guess that's better than some people. I'm sure that particular truck driver will reach his dream and ambition if he keeps trying.

Then I thought of the second definition, the end of a race. All these truck drivers in the world. We thought they were there to help us ship goods. Balogna. All they want to do is to be the first one to become a safe driver. Once he/she reaches a level of competency deemed to be "safe", there really is no point to driving anymore. The race is done. Pretty soon there will be no more trucks. Huzzah.

Ok so then the whole sports genre of definitions popped into my head like a bowling ball and I thought, "hey truck drivers are only living to throw, shoot, hit things at safety. They're trying to kill it or something." Which makes absolute sense.

The End.

Facebook has a Facelift

So I was on Facebook today, and all of a sudden, the entire layout changed! Right in front of my eyes. There was no warning, no bells or sirens, no complimentary mints, birthday presents, or even cinnamon rolls. Nothing. Just out of the blue. I was so surprised I almost wet my hat. Anyways, those facebook guys are lucky I'm a nice person, otherwise I'd bust a cap.
I'm pretty sure this day will go down in history as the day that the facebook layout changed. My kids will be reading about it in their Social Studies classes in elementary school. My grandkids won't believe that facebook could even exist any other way, and that gas prices used to be $0.999. Hecks, I can hardly believe that.

A History of The Mustachio

OK, so everyone knows that "mustachio" is not a real word.

"How would we know that 'mustachio' is not a real word, Lee?"

Well readers, that would be obvious. Just check any dictionary, online or tangible. You can even check in your spell checker. Everyone who knows anything about nothing would know that it just doesn't exist. It's plain old common sense. Just whatever you do, don't go to dictionary.com and search "mustachio". I promise it will hurt.

So now that I have proof that "mustachio" is not a literally real word, I can claim that I invented it, which I definitely did, by the way.

It all started way back when. We (my friends and I) went to the lovely East Coast Original Frozen Custard. Why it's called the "East Coast" custard, I do not know, seeing as the only East Coasts are on the North Coast (actually I do know why it's called East Coast Custard, but I'm not going to tell you. It's a secret). Anyways, back to my story: the origins of frozen custard are not known, and are disputed almost as frequently and intensely as the color scheme of Hanes low-cut socks. All we know for sure is that frozen custard was invented sometime between the egg and the chicken, seeing as eggs turn into chickens, and that egg is an ingredient in custard, and chicken is definitely not.

So I decided to get a pistachio custard waffle cone, seeing as pistachio is probably one of the best flavors for any frozen dessert ever created. It was so delicious and I ate it so passionately, that the pistachio flavored frozen custard got all over my face, especially on my upper lip.

At that moment in time, a very special thing happened in my brain. I like to call it "word jousting". Two words run at each other at full speed, crash, splode, and a new word is made from parts of the two words. So during this round of word jousting, it was mustache in the one corner and pistachio in the other, and kablamie, it made "mustachio".

So despite what all experts might say, "mustachio" is a mustache made of pistacio custard or ice cream. Not hair.